I heard we made out
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
