I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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