Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
