I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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