Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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