believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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