but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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