god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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