i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think I just sharted jello shots
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
