he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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