I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
