You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
