So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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