you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
