I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize