The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
