You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
