It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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