I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize