Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
