so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
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It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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