how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
