Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
