Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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