Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
