Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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