We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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