Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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