What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
