Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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