I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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