Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
