While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
