she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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