There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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