I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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