I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
