i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
