What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How's work?
Spinning.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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