his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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