Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
