I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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