I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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