After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
