the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
