I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We had sex on a dog bed..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize