I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
