you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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