Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
