she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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