He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
