And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
