the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
