that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So squirting runs in the family.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
