The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
