dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
