i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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