is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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