If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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