she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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