It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
