Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
