I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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