...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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