sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
